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The Infinite Goof
08 March 2015 @ 12:52 pm
I woke up sick in the middle of the night. Around 4am, just woke up feeling crummy, and then explosions from all ends. It was terrible. I vaguely remember Justin bringing me water, and I kept telling him that it tasted like it had sugar in it.
I feel okay now.
Having a somewhat productive weekend. My studio is so close to being completely organised and operational. I spent last week getting ready to hang those paintings, and now I've got some time to really finish this place off (before I obliterate it again.)

I heard back from Jane. She's dumb. I think the situation was diffused a bit. But, I'm just going to be the kind of friend who never hangs out. I can't do it. She can't see past her own nose, and she's a huge bummer to hang out with. I don't know why she is hell bent on being my friend, we are incompatible.

Anyway, I'm glad LJ is still here.
 
 
feelin': thirstythirsty
 
 
 
The Infinite Goof
05 March 2015 @ 09:13 pm
Justin and I drove to Vegas last weekend to visit with some old friends of his from Houston. We stayed in old Vegas right at the end of the Fremont St experience, at the Plaza hotel. I think I prefer old Vegas these days, it's getting pretty cute.

I'm driving to San Diego tomorrow to hang some of my paintings at the Bonita Library where my sister works. I finished up a painting I started last summer, and I painted a brand new baby painting to fill out my installation. I'm sure I'll post pics on instagram, if you're not following me, @twinklemischief

I don't have any "go to" friends right now. I feel isolated, but it's only week three of class. I'm sure I'll end up hanging out with people from school at some point. Things with Justin are improving all the time. Before the kids moved out, we weren't exactly at our closest. We cohabitate well when other people aren't screwing things up. But he works so much, I don't really get to hang out with him much, aside from around the house.

I get compliments all the time on my appearance, my style, my hair color. It's just me being me, and a lot of people feel the need to comment on it. So why the fuck do I let one negative comment get me so down? I came home from school today really bummed because some dried up bitter old clam from the dance department made an audible and rude comment about my hair, as I sat in my car before class. It was awkward because we were both walking toward the dance department. I ended up snapping her photo and mocking her on instagram. But I did not take a photo of the lady that paid me a very sweet compliment at Trader Joe's on the way home, or the countless other people who compliment me every day. I want to be the change I wish to see in the world. I will try to take a picture of the next few people who compliment me. I want to focus on positive interactions.
 
 
feelin': optimisticoptimistic
 
 
The Infinite Goof
25 February 2015 @ 10:26 am
I'm so happy to have pilates back in my life. Things can only get better from here. It will take me about three semesters to finish the classes I need, and then I'll have to do a lot of observation of other people's teachings before I can take the certification test. But I'm up for the challenge.
I have a class 4 days a week. The mon wed classes are not as intense as the tues thurs classes. I left class last night feeling the familiar workout high that I have missed so much.

Which is good, because I stopped for gas on the way to class and some lady tried to pick a fight with me. I pulled up to the station, spotted a free pump and parked in front of it.
When I got out of my car, the lady was standing by my pump, and asked a bit rudely if I was planning to pump some gas.
I cheerfully said, "Yes, I was planning on it" and she got more bitchy and said that she was there to get gas. Her car was parked several feet away from the pump, and when I pulled up, she was sitting in her car looking at her phone. I told her that was what I saw, and it was fair of me to assume that she had either already gotten gas, or was doing something else. She accused me of getting upset, I think she really just wanted to piss someone off. I was already trembling because I get very anxious when confronted with conflict with strangers. I'm sure I came off as upset, but the logic in this situation made no sense to me. My prime directive was get gas, not, pull up and ask around if anyone was gonna use the pump that's sitting there seemingly unattended.
I told her to go ahead and get gas, and returned to my car. As I sat back down, she said, "nevermind, I'm going to put some air in my tires" What a fucking horrible waste of life cunty bitch!! She didn't want to get gas at all! So, I went to pilates and worked that shit out, and hopefully she went home and fought with her husband and children and is having a terrible day today. :)

But seriously. Pilates helps me to let that shit go. I love it.
 
 
The Infinite Goof
24 February 2015 @ 12:41 pm
Remember Jane?
I had lunch with her last September for the first time since that entry I just linked.
I started by explaining to her why I had been keeping my distance. I referenced a lot of the things I wrote about in that entry. She was apologetic and blamed some of the behavior on the medication she had been taking.
We ended up having a bit of a heated argument over lunch. She told me that she was concerned that I would think to myself as I perish in hell, "Why didn't Jane tell me??"
I was shocked and annoyed by this statement. Who the fuck is Jane that she knows what's best for me?? It's just her needing to ease her conscience, it doesn't even have much to do with me.
Her mind is so closed up tight, I couldn't really relate to her at all.

So, after that lunch, again, I kept my distance. She relentlessly invited and re-invited me to her birthday party for the next three weeks. She called, left messages wanting to see me again.
I ignored her.

On valentines day, Justin and I were leaving Panama 66 in Balboa Park. We had spent several hours eating and drinking in celebration of my Dad's 76th birthday. We were walking across the Prado bridge when I heard my name. It was Jane. She was walking in the street on the opposite side from us. The street and sidewalk were crowded with people. She was the only pedestrian in the road walking with traffic. She asked if we could talk for a minute, and I said we were in a hurry.

She called me that evening while I was having dinner with Justin. She left a lengthy and pleading voicemail. I finally responded today.

"Jane, I'm sorry I've been silent, I'm just not sure what to say. My mother taught me as a child that heaven and hell do not exist, and that the God she believed in was a loving God who did not exact revenge.
As a grown person, these base teachings still exist in my mind, also as an Atheist person, whether I like it or not. I have plenty of christian friends who are accepting of my beliefs and even respectful. I prefer these types of friendships in my life. I have a hard time keeping patience with you because you come across as very closed minded. When I started talking about my paintings, for instance, you interrupted me to say, "You never painted in High School" and, while I did have brief access to some oil paints in High School, and I messed around with them, it is true, I did not paint in High School. That's the beauty of life. As we age and get older we can explore the things we didn't do before, and I am spending my life enjoying as many things as possible. I was a bit shocked at your reaction, considering High School was more than 20 years ago for me, and not only that, but it was not the greatest time of my life.
I am open to hanging out again sometime. I don't want to throw away our friendship, I just need you to be respectful of me and my beliefs, and be open to the idea that I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions and life choices based on my perception and upbringing just like every other human person on earth."
 
 
feelin': okayokay
 
 
The Infinite Goof
17 February 2015 @ 10:45 am
It's been just over a week, and the house has changed drastically. Justin and I have been rearranging things in every room. It's good. Especially since we are probably going to be here another two years.
I painted Pheran's old room and moved all my stuff in. I should have moved into this room in the first place. It has a walk in closet, the perfect light, the best view in the house. All things that don't really matter to sullen teens. Oh well, mine now.
Justin has moved all of his musical instruments into my old studio, right next door. It was fun last night, both hanging out in our rooms, still able to chat here and there, but mostly just doing our own thing.
Soon, we will be able to accept visitors without embarrassment. Justin's pile of electronics right inside the front door, and my pile of multimedia art supplies and tools in the dining room, will be tucked away upstairs. Now we just need to find some friends nearby...all mine have moved away or gone off to college.

I'm starting classes this Spring (today!) to get my pilates certification. It's a little scary, but also really exciting. My health has declined so much since pilates stopped being a weekly routine, and I want to feel good again. I want to make pilates a permanent part of my lifestyle. Not to mention, studying anatomy helps with drawing human forms.

Art wise, I have a little bit going on. I have been drawing up ideas for some farmer bunnies I was asked by a friend to paint. I have the Digger family series I am working on. My sister invited me to hang some work at her library in March. Hopefully things soon after that...? I mainly want to just paint up a storm in the next few months. I have so many ideas and so many wooden panels!
 
 
feelin': excitedexcited
rocking out to: Welcome to Nightvale
 
 
The Infinite Goof
15 February 2012 @ 04:30 pm
Jeff Soto is my painting teacher.
I feel really lucky.
 
 
feelin': excitedexcited
 
 
The Infinite Goof
29 January 2011 @ 08:46 am
Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I resolved to maintain my weight loss and keep fit, and I managed that.


Did anyone close to you give birth?

Still reeling from all the babies of last year, can’t even remember if there were any this year.


Did anyone close to you die?

No one close to me, thankfully.


What countries did you visit?

No new countries this year. I went on a lonely road trip through the desert, which was a lot like visiting another country.


The restCollapse )
 
 
feelin': calmcalm
 
 
The Infinite Goof
16 July 2010 @ 09:24 am
Art  
I enrolled in a printmaking class this summer. I'm having a great time with it. I made this dry point etching...
It came for Toys!

...and this linoleum cut reduction.
Muscle man variation

I'm always taking up pointy new projects. My thumb is currently recovering from a few really good jabs with the linoleum cutter. Linocuts own my soul now. I've already started a new one, which is why my poor thumb is ground beef.
I'm going to the beach today, and tomorrow is the gay pride parade in San Diego, and a little reunion lunch with some friends from High School. Sunday is the MGMT concert.
Life is good.
 
 
feelin': relaxedrelaxed
 
 
The Infinite Goof
12 July 2010 @ 08:58 am
It's been a few weeks, but I wanted to write about my trip to Arizona.
I stopped a few places I picked out from Roadside America, and drove diagonally across the state from Sedona to Quartzsite on tiny rural highways, over two mountain ranges where the speed limit was often only 35 MPH. It took me about 10 hours to get home. There were a few moments where I felt agonizingly lonely, but overall, it was a great experience.
From Sedona, I drove to Jerome, Az, an adorable little hippie village on the side of Mingus Mountain. The whole town is built right on the side of the hill. It's made up of galleries and shops. I stopped there and walked around a bit, bought a ring made from recycled glass in a shop called "The Fool on the Hill", and left town. The rest of the drive was pretty desolate. Not many towns to speak of. There was some kind of festival going on in Prescott, Az, but I didn't stop, though I should have, because I didn't get any food until I reached Quartzsite, and then it was literally the crappiest burger I have ever eaten, and the stalest fries, not a meal you want to gulp down after a very long trip through the desert.
In Quartzsite, I stopped to look for celia's rock garden. It's a section of a city park that has been transformed into a garden featuring labelled plants and memorials to dead people and animals. It's a huge area on the edge of town, and when you're there, you feel a bit likee you're lost in the desert, because there's NO ONE around. I ate my crappy burger in the shade of a menacing saguaro cactus, and then wandered the grounds snapping photos.
There is a sense of danger when travelling alone. Luckily, I had cell service most of the way, so I called Justin when things got creepy. Wandering through Celia's Rock garden, at times, I could not see my car, and got a bit disoriented, it was freaky. It was a great experience, all in all. The sight seeing and the friend visiting. I kind of can't wait to do it again.
 
 
The Infinite Goof
12 June 2010 @ 07:56 am
I took the last two days off almost completely. Played some video games, did piddly things around the house. I feel rejuvenated.

I made a peace offering of a candy bar to my estranged friend on the last day of school. He was standoffish, but he spoke to me, and then ignored me for the rest of the day. But then he sent me a note on facebook, thanking me and wishing me a good summer. I'm digesting it. I may just leave it at that, I may pry and ask what the hell, I don't know yet.

Looks like I'm going to Arizona next week. I'll be visiting a few old friends, should be interesting. One is a friend from middle school, the other is an old roommate, we dated the same guy, one after the other, and our past is a little sketchy, but I'm looking forward to getting to know her as an adult.

I think we're going to the Getty Center later, to meet up with secretpink. I'm excited to see the sun set from up there.
 
 
feelin': rejuvenatedrejuvenated